As a single male in this lifestyle since the past few years, I feel some of these suggestions could be helpful to the curious single guys who want to enter this lifestyle.
1 ) Your profile should include a few non-nude pics. Maybe one of you in a fancy suit , one just in a normal T and jeans. Try not to include one of your dick in front of your toilet or sink . Maybe mix it up by including a pic in which you’re only in your underwear, holding a glass of red wine and your boner is evident .
2) Try not to approach couples who’ve clearly mentioned no to singles.
3) If you see that they’ve mentioned
they enjoy with single men, let me tell you they’ve probably come across a ton of guys who were fake or flaked. So make sure you’re clear and not lying about anything. It’s not worth the effort
4) Make sure you’re a paid member on one of the mainstream swinger sites.
5) Try not to request an exception in terms of preference. If they are looking for a certain preference and type and you don’t fit the criteria, try not to request and plead . You’re better than that.
6) You need to be in decent shape. All body shapes enjoy this lifestyle but if you’re in good physical condition , your chances will increase. Being Lean , Slightly Muscular helps a ton .
7) Try to be articulate and coherent in your profile. Don’t just come across as someone who just wants to get laid. The guys who usually does well with women in normal day to day lives , tend to do well in this lifestyle as well. Just an observation
8) Don’t assume that she isn’t satisfied or her husband is not good enough . You’re just a part of a fantasy . You’re sometimes just an extension to their healthy relationship not a replacement. I’ve seen well-endowed men who look like Calvin Klein models and secure in themselves to include another man. So try not to one-up anywhere here .
9) Hygiene is very important. Make sure you’re trimmed down there. If you have beard make sure it’s well groomed and clean. Smell nice , try not to put anything overpowering.
10) Don’t assume stuff . Not every lady in the lifestyle flaunts her cleavage and dresses skimpy. You don’t even have a clue the people who enjoy this lifestyle. People from across all income groups and across all walks of life are part of this lifestyle.
11) Being new to this , I wouldn’t recommend swinger clubs right away . Sure you’re paying a higher fee but that’s it. To start off try to seek couples online
12) I’ll be completely honest here and won’t sugarcoat anything . The odds are stacked against you . The demand for single men is low compared to single women. Couples get a ton of DM’s on a day to day basis . You have to stand out from the rest . Nice looking face , nice body , fitness for stamina , for some a nice dick , excellent hygiene, charm , manners etc .
13) If you’re extremely sensitive to rejection, this may not be the lifestyle you want to indulge in . A No is a no and that’s completely fine. Seek someone else .
14) Don’t bombard their inbox with multiple messages. They have a life outside the bedroom as well . Kids , Career etc .
15) If you’re comfortable adding a face pic , make sure you’re verifying as soon as possible into the conversation. Maybe send a pic of you holding their username on a piece of paper . Yes you have a nice body and a nice dick but most women are attracted to a nice face. She needs to find you attractive first.
16) Talk to her husband/bf about their preferences, likes , dislikes. Make sure he’s included.
17) If it ends up being your first threesome experience, let me tell you - you need to be totally alright with another naked man around.
18) Most women I’ve been with love the slow sensual experience. Be a sensual lover. It’s not an easy thing to explain. Try to be present , be in the moment.
19) Try not to replicate porn scenarios . Take your time . Foreplay is key .
20) Most women love a good kisser . I mean really good sensual deep passionate kissing. Make sure your lips are soft and hydrated.
21) Make sure your breathe doesn’t smell. Brush , Floss , mints etc .
22) Rather than trying to cum, focus on the experience . Go down on her , there are a few videos online how to eat pussy . Make sure your fingers and clipped, trimmed and filed. Run your nails by your own nipples or the head of your penis to be sure .Don’t jam it in , slow and steady. Try the cum hether gesture .
23) If you’re really good at performing oral on a lady and fingering her. You’ll surely be invited again and probably recommend to other couple friends . Not exaggerating here .
24) Like I said before , don’t try porn like situations. Incase you’re playing with a lady on the heavier side , positions like Doggystyle , Spooning and the Butterly work great.
25) I always do this thing of trying to aim the belly button while I’m inside her . Sounds stupid but it seems to work .
26) Not every woman will swallow or take it on her breasts or face . Irrespective she’ll taste your cum to a certain degree while giving you a bj , In my personal experience trying to avoid caffeine , red meat and adding stuff like watermelon, celery, cucumber , pineapple, cinnamon a few days before meeting has helped in my favour. It does a good job of at least curbing the salty and acidic taste . I mean don’t focus too much on it though. But it helps .
27) Know which condoms fit you best and carry your own condoms .
28) This might sound a little too much , but it helps to have a recent STD test .
29) Don’t lie about being Bi , just to get laid. Don’t say stuff like , ‘Ohh I’m alright if he just sucks me ‘ .
30) Couples usually prefer meeting at a hotel. Try to book a decent hotel room . Even if you have a nice apartment, couples usually prefer meeting at a hotel . Once you guys have become good friends and meet often , you’ll probably be invited to their house.
31) The first few times you’ll be nervous and that’s fine. Don’t drink too much . Performance enchanting drugs are common to take in such situations.
32) Kegels exercises . Yes even men need to do it , it’ll drastically exchance your sexual experience and you’ll learn to have control after a few weeks.
33) Paying for dinner or booking a hotel room and confirming it assures accountability and seriousness .
34) Do your cardio . Stamina and lasting long is important to enjoy this lifestyle. Yes size helps but stamina will make you stand out . If you masturbate often , masturbate with lube . Grip lightly but longer strokes . Maybe try like 15-20 minutes first and see where you stand
35) The couples usually don’t ask too many personal questions . But if you’re good looking , have a personality and easy going chances are they might ask why are you still single ? . I mean it might feel to you as though it’s none of their business but they just wanna make sure you aren’t cheating on your wife/Gf
36) When you’re playing with them , make sure you don’t check you phone every now and then. If they do , don’t get too upset considering there’s a possibility that they have kids
37) If they are up for it , do meet up for dinner at a fancy restaurant. You make the reservations and pay the check .
38) You are under no obligation. But it a good idea to maybe a carry of bottle of wine or bourbon or even a bouquet when you visit them .
39) It isn’t a competition. You’re not going to get a ring or a trophy by the end of the evening . Don’t look at it like a race you need to finish . Be in the moment , try to bring passionate and energy . It’s easier said than done .
40) It’s a fantasy . It’s a sexual rendezvous. Kind a tryst . You’re not a replacement and this isn’t an audition to be her future husband/Bf . Don’t act too clingy or ‘romantic’ if that makes sense.
41) Be friendly , try to make her laugh . Flirting is necessary and important but it shouldn’t be so sexual that when she’s reading your messages , you’re expecting her to come through her mobile screen and straight into your bed.
42) Dress nice . Nothing too formal but it shouldn’t look like you haven’t put an effort .
43) Mention more about yourself , your hobbies . Reply as if you’ve read their profile . Try not making your first introductory message as a one word message .
44) Put in some effort in your profile . Try to stand out . Get their attention . No use lying here , they can filter guys easily . They get a ton of DM’s on a daily basis
45) Make sure your hands are soft. Yes women love manly hands . But she shouldn’t feel like a construction workers hands on her body . It makes it a little itchy and stings slightly . Do moisturise your hands.
46) I know I mentioned to stay away from swinger clubs as you’re new to the scene , it’s alright if you such wanna see how it works . But remember just because you pay a hefty amount , doesn’t mean anyone owes you anything . Just get something to drink and soak the surroundings , watch in a mild carefree manner. Don’t stalk and stare aggressively . Notice , observe and enjoy a new experience. But remember to not stay too long .
47) Don’t go in with a ton of expectations.
48) Don’t fuck her aggressively right away . Don’t jackhammer her . In the beginning take it slow and in a motion.
49) Maintain respect , clear communication. Respect boundaries. Don’t ask ‘Why not ?’ . It’s up to them . Have a sense of self but not a self of entitlement .
50) Some don’t like the endless chatting and conversations. So try to be aware of that but always don’t be impatient in your endeavours
I have so much more to add to this , but I’ll stop for time being before the mods remove my post . If this gets a good response , I’ll add a few more points . Excuse my grammar . If Any single guy wants to know about anything specific, shoot a text !
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