'Twas the night before MOASS and though it was late
Just one creature was stirring, awake sat an ape
The stocks were all purchased from the brokers with care
In hopes that the tendieman soon would be there

The chimplings were nestled all snug in their beds
While visions of lambos danced in their heads
My wife was satisfied by her boyfriend's cock
While I stayed up all night to watch the ticks of the stock

When out on the ticker there arose such a candle
Had the hedgies finally been caught in their scandal?
I opened up r/superstonk in a flash
And saw FUD from the shills about a stock crash

I checked that I had one more order to buy
My 💎👐 would stop shills, whatever they try
When what to my wandering eyes did appear
But a rocket 🚀 with a sign saying "Apes Enter Here"

When I saw the red bandana I knew
This pilot here was Deep Fucking Value
More rapid than eagles the rocket 🚀ascended
And he whistled, and shouted, and yelled the hedgies were ended:

"Fuck Kenny! Fuck Vlad!
And fuck Robbinghood!
Fuck Shitadel, Melvin,
And all of their brood!

To the top of the moon!" And the price, yes it rose
"Now apes buy and hodl! Let the squeeze be squoze!
As leaves that before the wild hurricane fly
When they meet with an obstacle, mount to the sky

So right past $10,000 the stonk price did rise
Moving so fast it left tears in my eyes
And then, in my smooth brain, I heard a voice
"The DD was right! It's time to rejoice!"

As I snacked on my crayons, the rocket 🚀 in motion
I looked to my left and saw Ryan Cohen
He was dressed all in fur, from his head to his foot
The man was dressed up in an ape suit

"The votes are in," said he, "690%!
Hedgies r fukd - they won't be left with a cent!"
His eyes - how they twinkled! His memes, so merry!
His cheeks were like ice cream 🍦 topped with a cherry!

His grinning mouth was drawn up in a bow
And the beard on his chin was as black as it could go
His IPhone he held tight in his right hand
I knew one tweet would send apes to tendieland

His had a slim face and perfect, groomed hair
That shook when he laughed, like the price of a share
He was clever and wise, a right cunning short wrecker
I cheered when I saw him and felt better and better

A wink of his eye, and a twist of his head
Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread
He spoke no more words, but went straight to work
He tweeted just "🚀", then sat back with a smirk

7 digits now! 8! A superstonk like no other!
Margin had called! Hedgies were trying to cover!
He called to DFV and gave him a whistle,
And apes all flew up like the down of a thistle

And I heard them exclaim, now apes knew they were right-
"Happy MOASS to all, apes have won the fight!".