I'm 36 and have been miserable for so long. I don't see the point in doing any of this anymore. I've been working full time for 20 years and have no retirement. My father died when I was ten, lost all my grandparents, my brother committed suicide at 27, and my mother died in December. I'm just so tired. I'll never be able to retire. I've turned my life around from drugs and crime and homelessness to be an attorney. I did what you are supposed to do and pulled myself up by bootstraps with absolutely no help. I got kicked out of high school but now I'm an attorney, but what for? I live paycheck to paycheck, have less than 20k in a 401k because I started life late, got a house payment of 2500 but only 348 goes to principle a month. I'll never pay off my student debt, I have no family who might leave me money. When my family goes we leave only debt. What's the point? Life is miserable and I work all the time to barely get by. I only haven't followed my brother because of my two kids. I don't want them to be damaged by my actions but I don't know how much longer I can do this. I fantasize about eating a bullet literally hours a day.