I want to die. I took off of work I just made up some stupid lie. I hate that working is so hard for me when I only work 3 days out of the week plus college. I just feel like I failure. I have no close friends or family members and my boyfriend whom I'm closest too is in jail for weed crimes. I just feel so depressed. I've been feeling hypersexual and hyperactivity hooking up with random strangers and trying to feel something. I just feel like I'm not made for this world . I was born 1lb and 14 ounces and should have died as a baby the fact I'm here is a mistake I hate how my family thinks it's a miracle. I said this too my mom during a eposide and made her cry but idc. I just am going back and forth on the pro and cons of suicide. I just wish it was easier.