I just finished outpatient therapy, I did enjoy my stay but it didn't help much just reminded me that the government and society really does care atleast to force us to stay alive even if we don't want too. I learned useful coping skills and meet nice people, but it was nothing I already knew. I just received my hospital bill from my suicide attempt. I had to get stitches as well as get them removed and another attempt when a cop stopped me for running a red light and I said I was suicidal, I basically stayed in a empty hospital bed with no help for 8 hours. Both of those stays with my dad's insurance comes out to 2976.49 which isn't that much. I only get paid 250 every 2 weeks . I can only work part-time mentally as well as college. I pay around 300 a month for all my bills. Which is a lot on top of this hospital charge. I made a post online and people are saying I should just stop hormones. You know since being trans isn't a important mental issue . But I can't afford all the money I was thinking about living in my car and be a stripper or prostitute. Maybe I won't have to be off of hormones completely, just shave my body and do hair and makeup. I just don't know where to go in Texas for this. But I need the money. Bills are piling up and I know everyone has these issues , it's just hard. I'm thinking about taking more buspirone until I get sick and just overdose. Delta 8 is helping I just wish I had some D9 or Alcohol sadly everything is closed. I'll have to buy a bottle of wine tomorrow.