After ignoring it for years I finally realized that my parents are narcissists and they will never change or stop abusing me. I can’t stand having to be in contact with them, because they are the main reason I am suicidal in the first place and every interaction with them is horrible and hurtful.

Having this new realization I finally started planning to actually cut contact and honestly the thought of everything I have to do and dealing with their first reaction seems like the biggest battle I had to fight emotionally and just so so so much work with everything I have to do (financial independence, getting my own insurance, moving, getting messages all the time, etc.)

So one day a few weeks ago my brain just went “planning your own suicide would be much less work and they couldn’t hurt you anymore”