I don't feel extremely suicidal more a numb feeling. I'm most likely and going to get high and have some sleeping / cough medicine I'll probably overdose on slightly just to numb me and make me sleepy. I haven't been sleeping or eating properly . After I got out of a abusive relationship in October with a friend it's been hard on me to get everything together. Especially with my extended family staying with my mom and I it's been hard to get anything done at all. So I told my manager I was going to take a personal/mental health day. And she said that I was being lazy and not taking work seriously enough. And that I must not care enough about the job to be taking off. And how can't I imagine having my own business if I can barley come to work. Lol idk why that one hurt so much because if I was a professional illustratior and photographer and had my own business I'll be much happier than working at a bullshit sandwich shop, where no one else but only Karen's and Old people come in. Idk how to deal with others I just feel either numb or angry and just wish I didn't exist .