I know this is odd but hear me out. I've thought about this alot. I am a happy guy and yeah had a few hurdles here and there and who hasn't. My situation is unique but prob not rare. I am 35 single guy middle Eastern background only child and gay. I been single coming up to 7 years now and in that time I've made no human emotional connection with anyone. I live at home with my parents as I have become their primary carer. I try to see the positives but as time goes on the notion of being alone haunts me. . My parents don't have much time due to their health and once they are gone its just me. I have no other family here. My health isn't that flash I am a type 1 diabetic which has caused a few health complications. So I was thinking wen my parents pass on wat will I do? what will my purpose be? I came to the conclusion that I won't have one and if history is right I'll be single so that's why I wana plan a suicide so when that day comes I can free myself from what will be a sad existence. I think i have lived a good life and I am comfortable with this decision. its not ideal but I just can't see my life worth living. I dunno if anyone has these thoughts. I dunno I just thought I'd put my feelings out their . Thanks for reading x