he hit me. got me sent to jail over what he did. the police wouldn’t listen and blamed me. he has full control over my life and can call them at any time to get me taken back to jail where there is no escape. no dignity. he cheated and i found the messages and he gaslit me into thinking he didn’t but i just don’t believe the lies anymore. my only friend is gone. the only person i trusted and i know what happens next. i will be so empty. i can’t forgive anymore. this feeling is what lead me to drugs and homelessness in the first place and now it’s back. i don’t know how to do it alone anymore. it never ends. i am never good enough. i never have been. the shame and the guilt consumes me and i wish there was a poetic and honest and harsh way to say all this but there just isn’t any time. i will be pushed aside.