It’s been a hell of a last 5 years. First in January of 2019 I was diagnosed with HIV. In may of that year I was laid off from my great paying job due to company restructuring. I cashed out my 401k and retirement , took the severance and took some time off to cope. January of 2020 I started rideshare driving and was making decent money. It was great I was making really good money and I was working less hours, then my dad in his late 60s was arrested and convicted of possession of child pornogrphy and indicient liberties with a minor. Completely shocked is an understatement. My dad was my best friend, and I never knew he was leading this double life . 2021 I lost my dad to cancer while he was in prison and didn’t get to say goodbye because it happened so fast, he was feeling bad on Wednesday and was gone that Friday; and I got Covid at his funeral, came home and all of my hair fell out. Depression set in and I haven’t been able to shake it since . My income has dropped, my small business is on the break of shutting down, I barely have enough money every month to cover rent and car payment, I’ve been applying to jobs everyday and no positive feedback. I’m feeling hopeless and like a failure. If it wasn’t for my pets I’d just end it all but I can’t abandon them. I just wanted to vent I guess.