I’ve been drinking and using since I was 13. Quit the hard drugs about 10 years back, but never got away from the drinking. Well, two weeks ago I found out my fiancé cheated on me. Just happened to leave her phone at the house and I went to bring it to her at work. I got curious and looked and there it was. We fought (or more like I yelled and she cried) and my first move was to go home, smash a twelve pack, and smoke a bunch of weed. I pretty much stayed that way until six days ago. I had been proud of myself for quitting meth and staying off of it. I never even went to meetings or a therapist about it. Just quit. I’ve made a fool of myself a million times, been in fights, gotten kicked out of hotels and restaurants, but somehow always excused the alcohol and weed. I was just sitting on the couch, fucked up, and something whispered in my ear that I should look at myself. So I did and I didn’t like what I saw. I don’t know what I’m going to do about the cheating, especially since my kids are involved. I love her, regardless, so maybe I’ll try to make it work. But here I am, ya know? Trying to be clear headed. But I’ve got no friends, or at least no sober ones who want this for me, and no family outside of my fiancés family and my kids from my previous marriage. I feel alone and scared and I guess I just had to put this down somewhere.