Are you sick and tired of reading the same old boring posts? Do you want more than that dick pic in front of a dirty mirror? Do you want somebody that brings more zest into your life?

Rare on the market but finally here -- ME. It's your lucky day, so don't miss this opportunity to snatch up a deal with this limited time offer!

In your fantasy world, there is a true lover who is a friend, flirt, hot fwb, and someone who you admire. Someone that brings that passionate love again.  You know, the kind when you're excited to check your messages every morning?  This post is about making that fantasy become reality. Inquire within!

About you:  

• Of sound mind with a well-working brain.  YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE!  Be mentally awake and entertaining.
• Engaging enough to build a connection
• Roughly 21-45, although age is not as important as chemistry and brain-age
• Any relationship status
• Physically fit (I am healthy and healthy people are attractive to me; gym bods not necessary)  
• Attractive (this can mean a lot of things!  Sometimes brains are the main feature of attraction, so don't be shy!)      

About me, your next lover:  

• Of sound mind with a well-working brain
• Tall, dark, handsome
• Fit (but not gym rat style)
• Married
• Well-above average grammar skills
• Successful in life, well-educated, well-traveled, and respected at and outside of work  

On the fence? Read my FAQ:

• I want fun, flirty interactions that will take my mind off the monotony and onto the mind-blowing, but most guys are boring. Are you different? Check out our free trial and find out! We absolutely think so!
• I need some stress-relieving stimulation (with thought provoking conversations mixed in) that isn't serious, but still meaningful. Is this possible? Absolutely! This is the point!
• Will I get a laughs, flirts, excitement, chemistry, and fascination leading to a passionate love affair? Yes, you will!
• There are so many lame-o, dead-beat guys who bore me, flake, ghost, or are just like talking to a brick wall. Are you promising something different? We offer 100% satisfaction guaranteed. What do you have to lose?    

You may be thinking, "yeah surrrrre buddy, sounds too good to be true." What I'll tell you is that this is not my first rodeo, and if there was an anonymous Yelp for Lovers and Dating Encounters, I would get five star reviews with exciting success stories.

This is a limited time offer. ACT NOW and FAST, Reddit, before it's TOO LATE!