This post has been de-listed
It is no longer included in search results and normal feeds (front page, hot posts, subreddit posts, etc). It remains visible only via the author's post history.
Hi all, question is in the title.
Over the years, my different acting out behaviors (in varying frequency and at different stages of my progression) have included: masturbation with porn, compulsive masturbation during periods of high stress/anxiety/depression, casual 'meaningless' hookups, visiting massage parlors, and soliciting the services of escorts. Thinking back to my childhood, I can confirm that pretty much each time I acted out (especially in the last few years), I felt such guilt and shame and vowed to never act out again.
That said with my most recent partner (who I betrayed by acting out a few times with other people during the middle of our relationship, and who I still find difficult to call my ex), I never felt like I was acting out whenever we'd be intimate. In fact, whenever I was with her, I don't think I ever felt like acting out in the first place. Whenever we expressed our love to one another sexually, afterwards, I never felt that guilt/shame feeling that I'd get following my acting out behaviors in the past.
How do you discern the difference between when certain sexual behaviors would constitute as unhealthy acting out vs. healthy sexual experiences, retrospectively? I've come to learn about HALT BS (if you feel an urge but you're Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired, Bored, or Stressed... chances are you're unhealthily acting out your addiction), and that's been helpful in distinguishing between healthy vs. unhealthy urges today... but I'd like to try and understand if, in the past, the sexual intimacy my partner and I shared was healthy or not. Looking back, it really feels like it was healthy, but I'm trying to avoid the pitfall of confirmation bias here.
Subreddit
Post Details
- Posted
- 1 year ago
- Reddit URL
- View post on reddit.com
- External URL
- reddit.com/r/SexAddictio...