We’ve been to Secrets many times, including 8-10 times on Tuesday nights. He’s bi, but we’re hoping to find, at the very least, a guy for her to play with (we’re one of the somewhat rare LS couples who prefers single males), one who understands not every guy who is into sharing his wife is a submissive or a cuck and behaves accordingly.

Tuesdays should be great nights for us to find some fun, but they’ve almost always been a letdown. Here’s what would make Secrets perfect for us on a Tuesday night.

1. One security guard in the playroom. We could walk into an empty playroom on a Tuesday night, and it will be filled with single guys within five minutes. During our last Tuesday visit, we went into the mirror room to play together and it quickly filled with more than a dozen men. One guy even tried closing the door to the packed room. This all made us both uncomfortable, and we exited. Other times, we’ve had people jerking on the handles of locked doors repeatedly, although this has happened on other nights of the week as well. A security guard in the playroom would make a world of difference.

2. The house rules should be written in more than one language. Our experience has shown some people disregard the rules, but some simply don’t know better because they don’t read or speak English. We’ve had problems with people touching without permission, almost always on Tuesdays, and our response is never pleasant when that happens, but a couple of times there was a clear language barrier.

3. Earlier drag show. The playroom is basically a bunch of straight guys looking to get laid until after the drag show. Since the show starts so late, we usually have to leave before there’s a variety of genders and sexualities in the playroom. That 6:00 alarm in the morning keeps us from staying out too late on weeknights.

4. Free admission for women. Let’s be honest: 90% or more of the paid attendance on a Tuesday is single, straight men hoping to get some pussy. The more they encourage pussy to show up, the more men will pay to get in.

5. Secrets can’t do anything about this, but for gods sake, can everyone understand it’s pride night on Tuesdays at Secrets, not just “cheap admission for guys who can’t afford a membership or admission on the other six nights of the week” night. If you attend Secrets on a Tuesday and a woman says she wants to include her husband, your response shouldn’t be disgust or bewilderment.