I dont know why he hurt me... But i liked it. I felt special Like he was sharing something with me that no one else got to see. He gave it to me..

I dont know why I liked it. And even when I didn't I kept going back Wanting more. He would hurt me And tell me he loved me Then he would stop And I would feel empty. I begged him to hurt me And he obliged.

Eventually i understood It wasnt healthy I deserved better, I deserved more I am better I am more

So here i am Healing Doing all the things to be better And feeling empty Just like when he left me. But this is supposed to be better.

So why do i still think about him? Why do i still dream about him hurting me? Why does it still make me wet? Why does this feel like a loss and not a win??