I want an edible friend. Someone to be a surrogate both for conversation and muff-divery.
I'm a big, burly, broad-shouldered, bald, bearded, bespectacled, blaspheming, bi-curious-curious bibliophile. But also (and less alliteratively) logophile, inconsistent hyphenator, pun-lover, nerd, ex-cultist, hard-atheist, champion-of-the-serial-comma, and insomniac. I’m progressive, pro-choice, pro-weed, pro-science, pro-antifa, pro-love, pro-rationalism. I'm sex-positive, curmudgeonly, and avuncular, a hopeless-romantic, jaded-cynic.
Imagine the captain of a pirate ship with a booty only of books or the bouncer at an exclusive library. You’re probably not off mark.
I'm lonely but not alone. My marriage is mixed in every sense of the word but especially on the axis of libido. (That is to say it's a dead-bedroom. Deader than a door-nail if Dickens is your thing. Deader than a parrot if you’re more Monty Python)
Things I like:
That chonky satisfying feeling of reading a new word for the first time, the even more satisfying feeling of your lexicon growing. Introspection. The symbiosis of tearing apart a shitty movie with the person you care most about, and then that same feeling but it’s about an amazing movie. Sharing the gospel of my favorite movies via stream. Picking up very heavy things (when choosing the man who will be handling your naughty bits consider how strength-training is about 50% grip strength). Getting my head stuck in the clouds. Weed. Concert Tees, smokers, unnatural hair colors, tattoos, piercings, Dungeons and Dragons. Explicitly expressed consent. Bohemians, hippies, nerds, dorks, geeks, portmanteaus, and pillow princesses.
You must be an art lover.
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