Hello good people of Reddit.

I have been in recovery since January 21st of last year. I got sober out of necessity in jail. And have some family violence charges that are still pending. I know that part of my deal will be a year in some consecutive treatment program, inpatient or outpatient. So come February, I will have prematurely hit my mark for mandated treatment time.

I understand the benefits of sober living, and am grateful for it. But anyone who has stayed in one for upwards of a year would likewise understand my desires to get the hell out of here and get a god dammed apartment.

I've got a great opportunity for an apartment with two other sober dudes, the rent is pretty cheap at somewhere around 750 a month per person.

The only thing is that my mom doesn't want me to move out until I am on probation, because of the accountability with drug tests. I don't think this would be an issue, but she is a fearful lady. Much of this fear and control struggle is what created so much tension in our familial dynamic way before I went crazy. I have talked to my dad and he seem all for the idea. He just wants to clear it with my lawyer to get his 2 cents.

I want to tell my mom that " since I'll be rooming with two other guys in recovery, we will have our own sense of accountability with eachother, regardless of drug tests. And really, drug tests don't mean all that much, because there are ways to cheat them. But what I cannot cheat is myself and my sobriety, my mental and physical state. My new life. My job, family, friends, passions, and network. These things i would be throwing down the drain if I relapsed, regardless of drug tests. If I only care about not going to prison. Then I'll just end up killing myself in three years instead of right now. I plan on being sober for the rest of my life. And being away from drug tests for a month won't change that principle that I have come to hold dearly."

Let me know what yalls thoughts are. I am twenty two years old. And technically, I know I have personal autonomy to choose where I live, but she's a crafty woman. They are paying for my lawyer, and my dad is the victim in my case (long story). So I fear her wrath in many ways, and still feel the two decades long talon like grip of control that she has had in the past.