I amthe child of an alcoholic so I feel like I should know better. I have chronic pain and issues do to childhood trama and injuries. On top of that I have adhd. My doctor told me that it’s either marijuana or my medication. Previously they were given no instructions regarding canibus though she still tested me for it. but that has recently changed. I have been smoking on and off since the fifth grade but Consistent since I was about 14. When I was on probation I only stopped smoking for the 17 days it took to get clean for my test. Now I have a test in 87 days and I honestly am Not sure if i can get clean for it. And the more I think about it the more I realize my use/dependency has been a real issue over the years in life, work, and relationships that I chose not to acknowledge. The past few years I’ve told myself though I enjoy it i do it because I’m treating my pain and issues naturally. When she told me this I initially considered going of my meds. I told myself it’s because I don’t like how they make me feel but in truth that’s only part of it and I need them for my job. This initial consideration made take a step back especially since I lost a job previously basically due to being off my adhd meds and making mistakes ect….infact they essentially said that was the reason. I have never bought into marijuana is addictive and have always thought it was just people with addictive personalities. After I left the dr I took 3 or 4 different quizzes concerning if I had a problem with canibus. I consistently answered yes to all but one question.I found this concerning and eye opening and decided I might have a problem so I decided to get off the weed as StevenA would say. My first day I fucked up and smoked. Then again today my second day I smoked on the way to work. I’m so disappointed in myself but am determined to keep trying and kick this but it seems soo daunting.