Hello fellow Reddditor's, I (M 22) am a university student with a basic university life, however I've changed a lot since joining uni. So, many experiences have shaped me into a whole different person, which mainly includes a one sided love story, this is important for the context of the main story. Okay so I really really liked this girl in my third semester and we used to hangout like all the time since we had the same courses and we usually hung out even after the class, leading me to sometimes dropping her off, things were going smooth but then eventually I started developing feelings for her in a way I haven't experienced before so pure, so erotic, genuine. But the problem was I'm too afraid to express myself especially my emotions which were becoming a hurdle in my actual life like I couldn't focus on stuff be it anything, and whenever I was alone I could only think of her and what we can be. Well then one day I finally gave myself enough courage to let her know how I feel and not let this stay inside of me (which was hurting me to an extent I can't describe in words) soo I did confess but she didn't feel the same which broke my heart into a million pieces and it took me almost a year or two to get back (I'm a very emotional person) whilst in the process loosing that genuine friendship bond that we had although we're still friends but it's not the same.

Anyways, now after so long I've met this girl and boy oh boy how much I have fallen for her. We match on a whole new different level our mindset, chemistry, sense of humor, and what not. We would simply sit for hours on end and just talk and not get bored (She is a very secretive person and doesn't easily let anyone in so easily) but with me that's another case we've discussed so much and she's ranted out so much that I feel the connection just got better. Now, we've been hanging out together for almost a year now and from what I know about her she isn't very comfortable in expressing her emotions as well. There have been experiences which point towards her showing interest in me such as putting up old romantic songs (she loves them and now I love them too), sometimes staring at me smiling, or just enjoying each other's silence in complete comfort. We've even started a small venture together but recently she's been a bit distant for some reason, I haven't let my emotions come forth yet, nor have I made a very distinct move that would make her know I want her, it's probably because of my past traumatic experience relating to this whole scenario, and especially the fact that I cant loose her even as a friend because I don't think I can get past that no sir. What I don't get is why the sudden reluctance, and because of which I've started to self doubt myself I don't even know if I'm making sense with what I'm trying to say I hope you guys understand. Sometimes, I feel like just hugging her as tightly as I can and let all that emotional blockage go, or just be able to hold her hand in mine and feel her aura. I wish I could tell her that I choose you. And I'll choose you, over and over and over. Without pause, without a doubt, in a heartbeat. I'll keep choosing you always only if I could have the courage to do so without losing you.

Just felt like getting this off my chest :) thank you for reading this if you did