Lately I feel like my husband can only handle Sweet me. Some days happy me isn’t there. Tender me is there. Sad me. Confused me. Sensitive me. Fear of abandonment me.

And that me is so unloveable to him. I ask him to cuddle and he says he doesn’t like it. I forget to tell him something and he feels like I’m neglecting him.

I’m so tired and sad. I want us to be happy and loving. A lot of times we are. But I feel like I constantly fuck things up in his eyes and then don’t apologize correctly for it and then he’s mad and feels validated that I’m awful once again.

I’m sad. I’m tired. That’s it. Sigh. :/

I realize we probably need marriage counselling. Writing this out made me see that/ but the last time I had marriage counselling it made my ex husband and I realize we needed to not be together.