Hey everyone, I had my first experience at Club X last night (Friday October 28th), where as I understood it was the one event night of the month single men were allowed. I'm wondering if this was the norm or perhaps an off night. Sorry for the long post but I'm trying to really see if it's as bad as it was last night.

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I (33F) still have fairly limited experience in the lifefstyle with a partner (44M) who has been in it for many years. We've been to M4 a handful of times and have gotten a group of men together at a hotel too. We choose nights with single men being welcomed because my partner likes to share. He's been to all the clubs in the GTA but his favorite is M4. I was getting curious about the other clubs so when he noticed single males were allowed last night he said we could give it a try as he hasn't been in many years so gave it another chance while feeling my curious brain.

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I've read many reviews from people saying they much prefer X seemingly mainly due to the average age and physical looks of the members over other clubs. The crowd last night was almost exclusively younger than what I've seen at M4, and by society standards, more physically attractive. But that is where the fun stopped for me.

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The layout there isn't much they can do about but I find M4 more easy to navigate and just better flow with essentially a main pathway that breaks off into different rooms on a loop. X you have to go through other play areas and then backtrack, with the private rooms and BDSM room down a different hall entirely. There was one bar vs the two I'm used to but that's not a big deal.

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My issues were the lack of respect or consent being asked for prior to touching. My partner and I started playing together in the room that, yes, is generally meant for group sex. Not something we're closed off to and actually encourage. I don't have any real preference for looks or age, as long as they're hygienic and respectful. After a few minutes a younger male asked if he could join us, we said yes. He was great in asking what was ok and what was off limits and my partner does a very good job of making sure my boundaries are known and respected at all times. However it seemed once the other men had noticed we were open to others joining that it was an open invitation. The only other people who asked, were the women. I did a bit light touching with some but it's not why we go so kept it minimal and that was fine with them. I'm perfectly fine with people asking my partner for permission (especially while my mouth is occupied or I'm focusing on having my enjoyment lol) but even he wasn't being asked. I had men beside us trying to put their fingers in my mouth, trying to kiss me, grab my chest. All times which my partner caught it happening before contact he would stop them and remind them firmly to ask. Many tried again.

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At no point were any staff coming through to make sure rules were being followed or that condoms were being properly disposed of. I slipped on empty wrappers more than once, and my partner even stepped on a used condom. There were lots of bins for the used towels, and there were plenty of fresh towels in every room (something M4 could take note on as you have to ask at a desk there for fresh ones only in one location) but no waste baskets in the play areas.

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We took a quick breather after not too long as it was difficult to enjoy with all the attempts without consent. We decided to give it another try, and it was worse. My partner was on his back I was on my knees bent over giving him oral, lots of people passing by behind me and suddenly without even a hand on my leg or thigh, someone shoved their finger in my ass. Also not something I'm opposed to but it was pretty unnerving. We told him off and he carried on without so much as an apology. We should have learned our lesson but remained hopeful the night wasn't a loss and kept going. Someone came up and smacked his dick on my foot then grabbed my foot firmly. I hate foot play in general, so never would have even entertained the idea. I'm perfectly content to politely tell people no thank you on certain things, not everyone enjoys the same things and they don't need to be rude but I also have a foot injury and am healing from a broken ankle which has my ankle still tender to the touch but fine to walk on and has no swelling. It hurt enough plus the surprise of it I winced and made an unpleasant noise. My partner sat up and told the guy no foot play, that my foot is injured, and to not touch people without asking. The man "Sorry, I didn't know" to which my partner replied "Because you didn't ask". We decided to wrap up missionary and get out of there, again with men trying to touch without permission. Even as we walked out of the room with towels on two men smacked my ass as I walked by. I wanted to say something (partner was leading so didn't see) but figured it was no use.

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While I was using the restroom and changing to leave he went to talk to an employee about it to which he was told "The single males aren't supposed to be back in that room for that reason!". I don't know if that made it better or worse, but the place was clearly poorly enforced. They didn't seem to take the complaint of multiple men touching women without consent seriously whatsoever which just intensified the small issues for me and made me never want to go back. We were so disappointed and couldn't wrap our heads around why with way more single men being at M4 did we not have issues. The people who tried to make contact that my partner blocked off before they could touch me were a mix of assumed couples and single men.

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Has anyone else had this experience at X or other clubs? Is this a normal occurrence I'd been lucky enough to avoid up until this point? Does anyone know a better way to go about making management aware? We won't be back to test it again, but I'd hate to see other people in that position.