At this point, I just feel like anyone you're going to meet in your life will just use you, manipulate you, hurt you, and make false promises and lies in any way — just to get something out of you, for their own benefit.

I feel like I have to make pretend and live with this "ideal life" — where I should strive to be positively useful to others, or else I will be good as nothing. People only wanted to be with me, choose me, or hang out with me just because they needed something out of me. People only see your worth because they will get something out of it.

Mga taong lalapit at kakausapin ka lang pag may kailangan sila o alam nilang mapapakinabangan ka nila. Magpapalibre. Mga taong kakaibiganin ka lang kasi may ibang intensyon sila sa'yo. Pero hindi pala totoo.

Dapat masaya ka palagi, dapat "good vibes" lang pag nakikita o kasama ka nila or else "toxic" ka — na parang wala kang sariling problema. Dapat masaya lang palagi. At pag sila may problema at kailangan ng kausap, lalapit sa'yo.

Pero pag nakuha na nila yung gusto nila o wala silang makukuha sa'yo...wala na. Jan ka na lang sa tabi. Mag-isa ka na lang. Pag ikaw may kailangan o kailangan mo ng kausap, "seen zoned" ka na lang.

Minsan naiisip ko, "okay siguro nakuha niyo na gusto niyo, pero...paano naman ako?"

Yes, man is a social being. Pero minsan naiisip ko, pinagloloko na lang siguro natin ang mga sarili natin from the very beginning. Maybe it would be better to just live this life on our own.

Like, every man for himself. Alone. Maybe it's true.

Like how Orson Welles said, "We're born alone, we live alone, we die alone. Only through our love and friendship can we create the illusion for the moment that we're not alone."

Anong nangyari satin? Pano tayo naging ganito?