You’re definitely gettin where I was goin.

For me personally, I find that the desire for connection and love can be crippling. We see what society wants from us, especially as women, and the fastest way to grab connection is with your body. Surely someone will care about you if you flash them or suck their dick, right?

Wrong.

I’m kind of toxic in that I see one of life’s biggest privileges to be able to be “in love” with others, as it’s an amazing feeling obviously.

But my dilemma is: I see the world changing. I see that commitment is an issue with many men and it makes me feel at a loss- because you can’t change people. While monogamy scared others, non-monogamy scares me. I’m afraid of a day where humans will only briefly encounter each other, breed, and romantic attraction will cease to exist. I’m afraid that the words I speak, the Art I try so hard to make, my career in art, will all fall on deaf ears. So much so that sometimes I just want the stage to be taken from me.

This world I envision makes me very nihilistic to the point where I question my own existence. What is life without connection?

I guess that’s the struggle I’m going through currently. I’m passing through a period of being angry and confused to one where I’m just, in your words, apathetic.

Thanks for your correction on the seven billion thing though. I write this while half asleep 😂