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(Serious) how I condition myself to not be attracted to young women?
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I realize this is probably trying to outsmart biology and thousands of years of evolution, but is it possible to simply stop finding young women attractive? I'm a late 30s guy, Billy attractive, so I get very little attention from women, but I've just sort of accepted that that's how it's going to be. But, I pretty much can't help being very attracted to women who just happened to be in the 19-30 range. I'm not actively choosing this of course, but happening almost instantly and instinctively. I never make comments to them and always try to not look, especially to not stare. Attracted to these girls knowing I will never have a chance, so I would prefer to "prevent" rather than cure the problem. I found an old thread where someone said he tried meditation to alleviate a similar issue, but outside of that and completely removing my testosterone, is it even possible to do?

Comments

I’m a sex therapist and have treated clients with attractions that made them uncomfortable.

First step is recognizing why it makes you uncomfortable. Because of the age gap? Because people may see you as predatory? Because deep down you do want to act on these attractions? Can be many things.

Then we would work on acceptance. Recognizing that attraction isn’t any indicator of what someone is or might do, it’s a natural human experience. By trying to not be attracted to this population you are making it worse. Think when you tell a kid they can’t have something…they only want it more.

I’d highly recommend therapy if it makes you feel that uncomfortable or disturbed. But hope this helps for now!

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But as you said in a previous comment (if I’m remembering correctly) you don’t plan to act on it. Correct? So why judge yourself for a thought - which doesn’t define who we are or what we will do. My guess is the judgement is coming more from the internalized shame of IF someone found out your thoughts.

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3 months ago