My narcissistic “ex” has “moved on” from me (for now) but unfortunately we share 2 online communities so I kinda see what she’s doing. Basically we “dated” a month (love you, future planning, etc) then she started online dating a guy we both knew and played with for months (she did it behind my back). Because I was stupid I agreed on staying friends for a while. Thankfully I came to my senses and been NC for a month now.

Now ever since she moved in with him, I can see the same pattern she did with me: lovebombing, acting like they are such similiar people and they are soulmates, isolating him from his friends. He always played alone or with his 2-3 close friends. Now that ever since she moved in, they exclusively only play together. Initially the guy wanted to play with his friends but she refused because she didn’t like something about them. So basically she made it the classic “me vs your friends”. Poor guy chose her ofcourse. To add to this she also wanted me to play with them so she’d have this “cool” love triangle 24/7.

He also used to go out a lot but now he barely goes out because his new GF doesn’t speak the local’s language and she just wants to sit at home and play videogames. So in 3 months she managed to make him cut his online friends, his IRL friends. As far as I know narcissists thoughtfully do this and they get rid of the victim’s support system so that noone can pull them out from their claws.

She also started the emotional abuse 2 months ago. As I’ve said we agreed on staying friends, but as you could’ve guessed she came hoovering for some “more than friends energy” which I refused and eventually made me go NC on her. We played together a few times and she’d talk flirty with me and also laugh at my shitty jokes so loud I could hear her boyfriend being uncomfortable as fuck. Ofcourse after a few of these sessions he voiced his concerns to her and she told him to suck it up and she won’t dump any of her friends for him. She provokes him on purpose and gaslight him so bit by bit he will believe the twisted reality of hers.

Now ofcourse as a bystander who knows her and recently learned a lot about NPD this is a bit worrying/sad to see. He didn’t know we were a thing so I actually feel bad for him, he’s completely clueless. I thought about talking to him but we were never really that close and for some reason he’s mad at me for going NC on her GF (she probably told him I’m jealous and I hate him). Even if I reached out I highly doubt he would believe me as he’s entangled in her webs. I didn’t listen to any of my friends even though everyone was literally screaming at me to dump her and go NC way sooner.

It’s sad to see that she does the exact same shit to someone else as she did to me. As if you copy pasted the whole shitshow and just swapped the character named “GUY” to someone else. There is no difference in her behavior, it’s the same down to the last bit.