hello! short time lurker soon to be long time frequent poster 🥴

i (26/nb) just became self aware (partially through having an incredible self aware partner who makes me feel like i’m being seen in a way no one has for decades) and i’m trying to think critically about my behaviors

whenever i listen to music, i think about myself performing the music and therefore getting intense praise and adoration and respect. i’ll ask often engage in fantasies that involve like someone from my past seeing me now and being so impressed by me.

should i be trying to stop myself from indulging in these? they feel good in the moment but are they warping my ability to rely on my true self OR are they a harmless way to get supply?

what do you guys think?