My wife and I were away from home this weekend. It wasn’t a romantic weekend away, but we were trying to take advantage of being away to have a bit of romance. This was a very needed moment as we have been really struggling since I came out her a few weeks ago. As you can see from past posts, she is not very supportive of me being trans so attempts to be intimate our welcome.

She bought this sexy red teddy, bra and sheer panty set that got me very worked up when I saw her in it. We were making out, and the foreplay was getting us both worked up, however, when it came time for PIV I just couldn’t get up enough to penetrate. I am a bit worried as for sometime now we have not been able to be intimate due to a physical issue with her which has contributed to an increase in my dysphoria and also to a resurgence in being attracted to men on my part. But I really wanted to have sex with her.

My concern is that the dysphoria and other attractions might be getting out of control and getting in the way of intimate relations with my wife. I know that while I really liked how my wife looked in that outfit, I also wanted to wear it myself and look just as good in it (I wouldn’t, but in my mind I did). Also while I was making out with her, I found my mind drifting to thoughts of being penetrated myself.

When we woke up this morning, she asked me if I was in hormones, to which I honestly said no (even though I do want to be in them). I feel like I am fighting a losing battle. I want a relationship with my wife but I am not sure how to come back from this.