I can’t believe it’s been two years since I started treatment and therapy for MDD. Nung simula, akala ko it would be a linear process of healing. Na I just needed to take medication and go through therapy then I would be fully healed. There are times when I felt ‘healed’. At least for 5 months of the past two years, na I could cope well with my condition. Yes there were episodes, about once or twice a month, but the day after I could get back to my routine naman which is fine with me.

Recently though - like two weeks ago - nagkaroon ulit ako ng major depressive episode. This was for 3 days straight, and I couldn’t cope well with my symptoms. I thought things were falling apart again, and that I’m back to zero with my healing. How could I feel this way? I have a nice job, I just got engaged last December, I’m keeping my routine…

I’m exhausted. At this point I’m accepting I have to learn to live with this disability. That there would be times depressive episodes would just come in without any clear trigger. I’m getting a PWD ID soon which is a big step for me. I think this is my way to admit na I’m here seeking help for the longer run. I hope the benefits help me sustain the MH services I’m getting.

This is all to just share. And if anyone out there is going through something similar, kapit lang 🤗