I am pretty disgusted by the posts about “Henry having autism” on here for several reasons:

1. The framing of these comments is derogatory to people on the autism spectrum, and thus extremely ableist and hurtful.

2. None of you has any idea what autism is or looks like. It’s not as simple as “doesn’t make eye contact” or “seems socially awkward in my opinion”

3. Actual people on the spectrum can still date and yes MARRY neurotypical people, and so if he did have it, he’d still have every right to be on the show

4. If you’re assuming he is on the spectrum and reacting with anger rather than compassion, and criticizing him for not making eye contact instead of Christina for bombarding and over stimulating him with hostility, then refer back point 1.

And for what it’s worth (though we can’t diagnose people we’ve never met on TV), I do not have the impression that Henry has autism.

I believe he is socially anxious and uncomfortable around Christina, for reasons that should be obvious.

Either way, stop with this!

***EDIT: Others have rightly pointed out that 1. Christina isn't neurotypical herself (she disclosed an ADHD diagnosis, which I assume she got from a professional) and 2. That my comments on her aggression come off as unempathic toward her.

It's true that I have a judgment that her behavior is aggressive. We can all have empathy for the frustration and rejection she seems to feel. Maybe some of her behavior is explained by her ADHD, much of it is probably the the show and the fact that they're poorly matched, and a decent chunk of her behavior is probably due to things that we as viewers know nothing about and shouldn't assume.

The point I hoped to make was not "let's blame Christina." It's that we shouldn't be blaming a complicated relationship dynamic on one individual's possible diagnosis, or diagnosing pathology at all. We shouldn't be using actual clinical terms that describe real people as a way of criticizing behavior we don't like.

I think that their unhealthy dynamic is co-created. I think the more Christina pushes, the more Henry pulls back in fear. The more he pulls back, the more insecure and upset Christina gets, leading her to pursue even harder. It's a vicious cycle that doesn't work well for either of them.

Neither of them is a villain and neither of them is entirely at fault for the dynamic. We don't need to pathologize either of them in order to make that point.