My wife outed me three months ago today (married 25 years). It has been a whirlwind of a time. I have therapy, we are with a couples counselor, and our marriage is the best it’s been in the past decade.

I have been able to reinitiate my intimacy with my wife, let my guard down in our relationship, and let the two of us work on what our next steps are going to be.

I never expected the emotional journey I would be going through, and I am so thankful she did not just throw me away to contain her hurt.

For me, I need to come out to most people I care about. A life of duality needs to come to an end, I want to live as one person, not two sad, portions of a someone. I need to be a whole.

With lots of communication and my wife’s permission, I have a profile on a dating app, been on a date, chatting other guys, and slowly testing the waters in our community that I have never allowed myself to do.

We have told our closest friends, getting ready to tell the kids (16 and 20), and we are debating telling family. There will be tough questions as the world is not very open minded but we are willing to either answer or just say we don’t know.

She is working on things she wants to experience too, and those include immersing herself in another culture. We will find experiences that suit and enhance ourselves, and ones that enhance our relationship and togetherness.

There is nothing that would want me to go back three months and be in the ‘happy’ marriage where neither of us was that happy. Now we communicate, discuss, laugh, cry, and be together knowing we are already better today than we were before. Where we go we are trying not to forecast (thanks therapy), just taking it day by day.

We choose each other everyday and today we choose each other again.