My wife [30 F] and I [29 M] have been married for about a year and a half. We dated for a year, we’re engaged for a year and a half, and not have been married for 1.5 years… but I am yearning for so much more in our marriage and was feeling the same way before getting married. Here’s our background:

My wife was raised in a very traditional, Catholic, and conservative household. She was taught to be modest, we couldn’t live together before marriage, she couldn’t spend the night with me before marriage (yes, even when she was 28 years old), and her parents were always extremely strict on her her entire life. When we were dating, we would have sex about once per month, or once every other month. When we were engaged, for the first half we kept up the same sex life as when we were dating… but during the last half of our engagement, that all changed. She came to me and said that she was petrified of getting pregnant before we were married because her parents would disown her (yes, we wore condoms and I had always pulled out). She also said that she started to feel horrible about having sex before marriage because it was a sin and made her feel immoral. So I supported her decision and as much as it hurt me and as much as I didn’t want to live by this, we did. We didn’t have sex again until our wedding night. But during our engagement when we weren’t having sec, she always reassured me that once we were married, everything was going to change. She said that she was going to want to have sex all the time and sooo much. Not multiple times a day, but like 3 to 4 times a week, maybe more.

But as you probably have guessed, this has not been the case at all. On our honeymoon, we had sex 1 to 2 times a day. Then for the first 2 weeks after our honeymoon, we were having sex 2-4 times per week. But since then… I’m lucky if it is 1 time per week. Usually it’s once every other week, sometimes, it has been 3-4 weeks in between. She has had some UTIs that have put a damper on things, but when this happens, I always give her time to recover and get better. I don’t have unrealistic expectations. But when she’s recovered and the UTIs are in the past, she expresses her desire to have sex more, but then it never happens. She’s always tired, bloated, whatever.

I’ve tried to talk to her and express my desire to have more sex and when I do, she agrees and says we sneed to have it more. But again, this never happens. I’ve tried to say maybe we should schedule it and when I do that, she gets offfended and says that’s no fun and is insulting.

Also, when I express my desire to have sex with her more because I love her, she always runs to her sister and says that’s all I care about and if we go more than a couple weeks without sec then I get in a bad mood. Obviously when she goes to her sister. Her sister always backs her because her sister is not a sexual person either.

I have tried date nights, being flirty, etc. but nothing works.

Can anyone please give me any insight into what’s going on or any ideas on how to fix this! Because I feel if this isn’t fixed then our marriage is doomed! And no, she has never cheated on me and she loved me with her whole heart. I know that for a fact.