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29F - Hi guys of Reddit, I give you: reddit science experiments, break up songs, me crying in a fast food parking lot before my pink hair
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i-am-not-who-i-was is age 29
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Hi hi hi! Itā€™s partially pink hair girl reporting for duty! You guys really outdid yourselves last time when I asked you to clean up the mess that reddit men had made in my house/mind/mind-house. Some came with cleaning supplies, some came with warm or cold beverages, some came with apologies on behalf of men in general. It was beautiful and warmed my jaded heart. Since last time, have I dealt with an instance of ick from a reddit man? Yes. But thereā€™s actually been some cool moments so the jury is out on how Iā€™m feeling about it all.Ā 

Someone asked me what my go to break-up song is (donā€™t you love how smooth that paragraph transition was?) and I have since changed my mind to the song I canā€™t remember saying and chooseā€¦.Skinny Love by Bon Iver. Come on!! Have you listened to that song? Tell me you donā€™t want to sit in your car in an In N Out parking lot while itā€™s raining, crying about that boy who said he only likes blondes even though you're brunette, while listening to it on repeat??? I can tell you, it makes for a wonderfully pitiful and dramatic scene!

Speaking of feelings *most of the men run away screaming*ā€¦ā€¦ā€¦ā€¦Okay, now that itā€™s the cool guys leftover, I was thinking about how a lot of you have been describing my energy to me and, honestly, Iā€™m here for it! Someone called me a bipolar golden retriever (shoutout to you, sir) and itā€™s probably the best way a person has so thoughtfully described me. Ba dum ba da dum Iā€™m lovinā€™ it!!! (Please sing that last part to the tune of the McDonaldā€™s jingle).Ā 

So now Iā€™ve got two days off ahead of me and possibly a late night of chattin' if I donā€™t fall asleep. And Iā€™d like to have some fun please and thank you.Ā 

1) If you want to hear about one of my current reddit science experiments on reddit men (yes, this is something I actually do) come knock on my door and Iā€™ll fill you in on my latest observations on what ages/age groups of reddit men are least problematic/heartbreak-y. Now hold on, QUIET!! Letā€™s let all the guys who want to whine to me not all men are the same get it out of their system and then okayyy no more words from you all! But yeah, Iā€™ve got some stats I can share, some medians (I mean, I think that could work here?), whatever else. Iā€™m pretty interested in the sort of repetitive, parabolic shape it takes on (whatā€™s that called again?).Ā 

At this point, if youā€™ve read/scanned to here, Iā€™m not sure how my energy is coming off to you tonightā€¦.youā€™ll have to tell me, but keep in mind itā€™s almost midnight and Iā€™m kinda tired.

2) Now hereā€™s my second idea which Iā€™m stoked to try. Iā€™m going to take a few your go to ā€œbreak-up songsā€ or a song that, when it comes on, you think of an old crush/flame. Iā€™m gonna take those songs and make a playlist, and then Iā€™ll show you all somehow. Maybe in my next post? Or can I update this post? Idk.Ā 

Iā€™m going share my song: Bitter by Worn-Tin. My last heartbreaker told me about this song and I loved it. But then he ruined it of course. So, Iā€™d like to say Iā€™ve been listening to it on repeat to desensitize myself to the thought of him and guess what? That $ht freaking works!!!! The song Bitter is making me less bitter! (First, *gags*, worst kinda joke ever. Second, no Iā€™m still bitter over this man and will remain so to some degree always because I donā€™t forget the people who try to break me.)

So if you read this, bless your beautiful (most likely bleeding) heart, and come say heyyyy to me, give me your song, and tbh sometimes it helps if you say something else besides a ā€œwassupā€ or ā€œhiā€ since itā€™s hard to judge what Iā€™m walking into otherwise. But ok, get out of here! I wanna see your name pop up on my screen!! I literally cannot wait. Seriously. Iā€™m crying Iā€™m so excited. Get your a$$ over here or Iā€™ll dye the pink hair black!!!!!!!

tl;dr you should have read my post because I spent time on it but basically come say hey, tell me your age, tell me your song, and say something else so I know you're not lazily spamming posts.

Ages 27ish-45ishĀ 

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2 months ago