Sylvia: Hello everyone! I am here for you today to sing a freestyle rap song about how you should vote Greens, and the other parties, especially National are bad! Here goes nothin'!

Background music from this song starts playing (you can actually sing along if you try hard enough)

Man voice:

"Look, I was gonna go vote National and hurt your feelings."
"But I'm only going to get this one chance."
"Something's coming, I can feel it."
"Just a feeling I've got. Like something's about to happen, like a Green wave. If that means what I think it means, we're saved, big saved; and if they are as enlightened as you say, I'm not taking any chances."
"They are going to get my vote."

Sylvia's voice:

I'm beginnin' to feel like a Green MP, Green MP
All my people from the start of the Green wave, Green wave
Now, who thinks their polls are high enough to beat us, beat us?
We'll clean the environment like a robot, so call us clean-bot

But for us to be in the government again it must be in our genes
We got a deal in our pocket
The plan'll be called off when Labour betrays it
Got some endorsements from that Internet Party
Made a pollin' and a votin' off it
Ever since imnofox was still in office
With health man feelin' on his budget
I'll be an MP still as honest
But as kind and as decent as all heaven
Syllables, campaign-a-holic (Poll 'em all with)
This flippity dippity-hippity hip-hop
You don't really wanna get into a pollin' match
With this rappity party, packin' a post in the back of a paper
National's crap, yap-yap, yackety-yack
And at the exact same time, we attempt these political acrobat stunts while we're practicin' that
We'll still be able to break National's polling
Over the back of a couple of nasty Nats and crack it in half
Only realised it was ironic, I was signed to Green Party after the fact
How could we not surge? All we do is drop campaign posts
Feel our wrath of sewage improvement
Kiwi Party's havin' a rough time period, here's a lootbox ban
It's actually disastrously bad for ACT
While I'm masterfully constructing this masterpiece as

'Cause I'm beginnin' to feel like a Green MP, Green MP
All my people from the start of the Green wave, Green wave
Now, who thinks their polls are high enough to beat us, beat us?
Let me show you maintainin' this polling ain't that hard, that hard

Everybody wants the key and the secret to gov't immortality like we have got. Well, to be truthful the blueprint's
Simply debate and minister's questions
Everybody loves to root for a Green gov't
Hit the Earth like an climate crisis
Did nothing but shoot for the government since (Poll!)
MPs get taken to the House with this music
'Cause I use it as a reason to "debate the rhyme bill"
Now we lead a new government full of left-wingers
Me? I'm a product of Goatshedg
gavingrotegut, health man, AMN, imno, Sprinkles, Uncooked
Stalin, TeaB, thank you, they got Syl
Inspired enough to one day grow up, blow up and be in a position
To meet FarTooMuchPressure, induct them
Into the pollin' Governor-General Hall of Fame
Even though I'll walk in the Beehive and burst in a ball of orders
Only Hall of Fame I'll be inducted in is the hall of fame
Of the Ministerial name
You Nats think it's all a game, 'til we get a flock of votes
From the voters and, tell me what in the world are you thinkin'?
Little National boy
So blue I can barely say it with a Green face, National boy
You're witnessin' a massacre
Like you're watching a Orbit 360° Dinner take place, National boy
"No way, boomfa away!"—that's all they say, National boy
You get a thumbs up, pat on the back
And a "way to go" from your party every day, National boy
Hey, National boy! What you say, National boy?
I get a "hell yeah" from the Greens, National boy
I'ma campaign for everything I have, always debate everybody's bills
Get outta my face, National boy!
Basically, boy, you're never gonna be capable
Of keepin' up with the same pace, National boy, 'cause—

I'm beginnin' to feel like a Green MP, Green MP
All my people from the start of the Green wave, Green wave
The way we're launchin' to the top, call us a rocket, a rocket
Space man instead of health man, co-leader of the future
Kneel before education man
This planet's Venus—no, Earth, Earth

So you'll be business man and I'll be foreign affairs woman
You nasty Nat, I'm omnipotent
Let off, then we're pollin'
Immediately with these speeches, we're risin'
And we will not be put to sleep
We're the debatin' sleepless, but we're just debatin' sleepless, a zombie pollin'
But we got your party losin'
We're out of ramen noodles
We have nothin' in common, National
I'm a "Greedy" Green, ban lootboxes and pay respects to gamers, Kiwi
It's me, my honesty's brutal
But it's honestly kinda sad that Labour endorsed National though
Not good every once in a while
So I wanna make sure somewhere in this election I scribble and doodle enough rhymes
To maybe try to help get some people hop over to the Greens
But I probably ruined a lot of punchlines
Not on purpose, 'cause even you not-so-green
Rappers are hungry lookin' at voters like it's election time
I know there was a time where once I
Was candidate of Aoraki
But I still rap like I'm in Christchurch
So I crunch rhymes, but sometimes when you combine
red with the party colour of mine
You get yellow and here they come tryin'
To out-poll you like that one time
Way back in MNZP GEVI when I
Tried to say I'll take all party leaders from back then
Put 'em all in a line, add a debate, and a couple microphones
See if they could out-debate health man now, but I'm
Morphin' into a literal plant, comin' out of the ground
You're stuck in a time warp from GEVII though
And I don't know what it is that you rhyme for
You're pointless as National back in GEIV
You write in blue? I don't like blue!
And I just made a new campaign post for the future
Just to come and out-campaign ya, like when National outpolled the Greens
'Cause Nats said he looked like a Nat in National's polling
Singin' to a man while he played piano
Man, oh man, that was an election day special on the press gallery
So Greens went straight to the polling station
The very next day, "Hey Nats, I'ma outpoll you!"
Lyrics comin' at you at supersonic speed (I don't like Nats)
Uh, summa-lumma, dooma-lumma, you assumin' I'm not human
What I gotta do to get it through to you I'm a normal human?
Innovative and I love vegan food so that anything you say won't hurt my feelings and it'll just waste your time and
I'm devastated, more than ever knowing
You wasted your time, the voters get the feeling like nats are useless
Never fading, and I know the haters are forever waiting
For the day that they can say Greens lost polling, they'll be celebrating
'Cause we know the way to get 'em motivated
We make progressive policy, you make regressive policy
"Oh, he's too left-wing."
Well, that's what they do when they get jealous, they confuse it
"It's not left-wing, it's right-wing,"—'cause I found a good way to implement socialism
With feminism, ecologism and anarchism.
Throw on "Lied der Partei" and make 'em lose it
"I don't know how to make songs like that
I don't know what words to use."
Let me know when it occurs to you
While we're destroyin' National's polling
And all those others too, we're destroying them too
How many seats we'll take
Prove that if you were not this blue
Your songs you could destroy your own polling too?
Ugh, private school is bad
But look at the poverty National is causing
Full of ramen noodles, but still hungry
I will vote Green 'cause I know what our country needs
And we're a million times better than National
Ill when I get food poisoning, but it's still vegan food for me, sorry haters!
I do not drink, so, National, I can drive this car safely
I will not fall asleep while driving
I will listen to good bands like New Order and Radiohead
But in my head there's something I can feel tugging and struggling
Angels form unions with other angels, and here's what they want from me
They're askin' me to eliminate National's polling
Because that's what real unionists would do
I will eliminate National's polling
And be more sympathetic to immigrants than them
And understand the discrimination
But, life is also handin' us all lemons? Make lemonade then!
But if I can't destroy National's polling
How in the world will we ever save this country?
Don't mistake them for Satan; they're far worse
If you think I need to be overseas and take a vacation
Because of my skin colour, then you are a racist
Do not be foolish! Be a king? Think not
Why be a king when you can be a comrade?

Everyone applauds as the song ends, what a great rap wow

Sylvia: Thanks everyone, I need to get going now, still on election campaign and all that haha!