Y’orroight!

It’s great to be back ‘ere in Dudley after so long. London’s nice ‘n all, but nothin' bates the Black Country. Ar’m not gonna tek much of yer time because ar’m very busy today, so ar’m gunna mek this as brief as possible. First off, ar'm not tekkin the piss 'ere. This is mar natural accent, but yow cor exactly spake Black Country when in Parliament or on the telly, so ar try 'n tone it down. It bay easy sometimes though, especially when ar'm tired after a long day.

Anyway. In this election, there am many different choices for us Black Country folk. But ar believe that there is only one right choice, and that is the Progressive Workers’ Party. For too long, yow lot have been let down by the LPUK. But now, thay’m gone, and yow’ve got a choice to mek about who will be your next MP. So ar say - why not choose a Black Country mon? Someone who knows wot it means to live in the Black Country, what it means to be from the Black Country, who has had a walk down the cut after a night out, someone who ‘as a Black Country accent and is proud of being from the Black Country.

For too long the Black Country has bin left behind. The closure of factories in the 70s ‘n 80s harmed this area for a long time and we still ay returned to where we was before. The chain for the Titanic’s anchor was med at the Round Oak Steelworks, which is now where Merry Hill and the Waterfront is. Thousands of people were med redundant by the factory’s closure, yow probably knew someone who lost their job there. It’s mar promise to make the Black Country a centre of economic prosperity like it was in the Industrial Revolution. Ar promise to bring back jobs and revitalise town centres like this 'un 'ere in Dudley through a Community Investment Fund. We will build thousands of new affordable houses so that everyone has a place to call home. We will expand the trams and bring back trolleybuses to provide better public transport connections as well as cleaner and quieter environment. This is but a glimpse at wot a Progressive Britain will look like. Ar hope that yow'll be able to put your trust in me and the PWP this election.

Thank yow all for comin’. Ar’l be answerin’ yer questions for a bit, just after ar eat me Greggs sausage roll. T’rah.