Maroiogog Speaks in Allen House Gardes, Guildford, to a crowd of supporters and bystanders

Hello and thank you very much for coming to hear me speak. I am here today to launch “Turning Point Surrey”, my very own campaign to change the tide of Surrey politics.

Our constituency has been for ages a bastion of the right wing party of the day, that being the LPUK or the Conservatives, one of their safest seats. Taken for granted almost by everyone involved, parties and political commentators.

An unfortunate position to be in for the many amongst us that want Surrey to be at the center of attention, a place that Governments look to when seeking to win the next election and where local problems are brought up in national politics.

I am here today to offer to put an end to this. Since last August I have worked relentlessly on the ground here to change this. We have had tremendous success to far. We started by improving on the Green’s party result getting 31,9% and then proceeded to achieve a share of 42,7% in February this year. This is a simply stunning result for which I am extremely grateful. It shows that the people of Surrey have risen up to the call of our message and are willing to take the gamble of change and hope for something different.

But what is it that we are offering? Well first of all, the progressive left wing agenda of the Labour party. Environmentalism for days, redistribution of Wealth and nationalization of natural monopolies, we have it all.

But that comes second in this instance, there are people back at HQ whose job it is to tell you all about it and I’ll let them do it, but I may touch on it myself in other settings. By electing me you will gain a very strong advocate for Surrey and its interests in parliament. I want to be the new Twistednuke and Surrey shall be my Northumbria. If you elect me I won’t be any old Member of Parliament, I will be Surrey’s own locally sourced homegrown member of parliament.

You say there isn’t that much of a difference, and to an extent you may be right, after all I am a politician trying to get your vote I am bound to conflate certain aspects of my messaging. But, when is the last time you saw an MP take on local issues, here or elsewhere? You see, with the demise of First Past The Post this delightful twist to our parliamentary system is simply gone. This is very unfortunate in my eyes, so I would like to use Surrey to prove that it can, and should, still be done.

This is why I am launching my own Turning Point Surrey campaign. I want to ensure this wonderful county has the representation it deserves in parliament and adds its votes to the ever growing number of Labour votes across the country. I want to win over your trust through nothing other than my work for the betterment of our infrastructure, our public services and our communities in general. I hope you’ll join me campaigning and you’ll mark my name on your ballot. Thank you again for listening, I’ve now got canvassing to do.

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OH no hold on I have a fancy logo to show you too!

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