Hello fellow LDR friends. I [28/F] have been seeing my boyfriend [31/M] for about a year and a half. We’ve been long distance for the past 4 months, living on opposite coasts of the United States.

We communicate a lot throughout the day via text and talk on the phone at night most days. That said, my boyfriend is consistently bothered by the fact that I am never the one to initiate phone calls. I love talking on the phone with him, but I just have never been the kind of person to pick up the phone and call someone. I am neurodivergent (ADHD) so it doesn’t really cross my mind to call and I have also developed phone anxiety in adulthood that didn’t used to exist, and part of that anxiety is feeling like I am bothering someone by calling them. I know it’s not rational.

I feel that I do a lot otherwise to show my care and devotion. For example, I communicate consistently, I send thoughtful care packages, and I have been the one to pay for two flights to travel to see him as well as for a flight for him to visit me in December as money has been tight for him lately. If not for me doing that, we wouldn’t be able to see each other. There is a three hour time difference between us of which I am on the later end of. This means that I often stay up really late just so we can talk on the phone, even if it means I am tired at work the next day. I do these things without complaint, but it’s difficult for me to feel like the ways that I show my care go unappreciated because I’m not doing this one thing that he wants. I have said that I would work on it and try to be better about it, just to feel like shit when I inevitably don’t. My intentions are not malicious. Maybe it is selfish, but I wish he would just accept this about me. Any advice? Thanks.