Today I ended my relationship of 2 years with my gf. It was hard and sad. I didn’t want to but felt I had to. For those who don’t know i had a previous post about an ultimatum. Long story short my gf (we have met before once) was supposed to see me this year. After multiple occasions of her saying she would visit me in certain times she didn’t (it’s more complicated than this but won’t get into details). Fortunately I was already going to Europe and I saw her. We had a great time :) but I gave her an ultimatum. She had to see me before a certain date.

After I returned to the states I re-stated it because it was like it was forgotten about. This is where things started to rly change. After a week and a half of not rly talking (as in calling, we still messaged) finally we called on the phone. It was a hard call. We were both crying trying to get our reasons across. Her as to why I was doing this to her and me and my reasons FOR doing this. We solved it and decided to continue our relationship…..but agreed that she needed to be able to figure out all the details to SEE me before September 14…..so basically another deadline.

That next day she left to go on a trip to visit her grandmother who wasn’t doing well. The trip is 3 weeks long, as of writing this post she is entering her last week on this trip. Since the trip we haven’t rly been talking. 1) she is with her family and spending time with them and 2) the country she is currently in is 3rd world so not rly any WiFi or internet. But even then we both kinda got distant from the convo. Like we knew what was coming

Part of being in a relationship is giving eschither time and attention, I knew that the upcoming school year was going to be very time consuming for me, I have been telling her that since I created my schedule back in spring. She also starts a full time internship in September. We both weren’t going to rly have time for eschither.

Anyways since we weren’t talking it prompted me to do a lot of reflecting on myself and our relationship. I also felt I created a lot of uncertainty because of the ultimatum which caused us to get more distant. I could feel and see how the uncertainty I created was affecting her and our relationship. I felt rly bad about it. Because this isn’t her it’s me. Then I started to think about breaking up because of what it was doing and thinking of everything else. That hurt even more because I was having those thoughts. Finally I decided that if I’m having those thoughts I shouldn’t lead her on. So today I told her. It was quick. We talked for a bit about it. She understood and agreed that she deserves time and attention, which I wasn’t sure I could give her anymore. And that was it :( just like that.

Since then I have been a mess lol. Crying and sad and all that. It rly hurts. I couldn’t be the person she needed me to be. All the past week I was thinking of breaking up and how it would happen, now all I can think about is if breaking up was the right thing to do :/

We aren’t on bad terms, we didn’t block or delete, we’re both mature. But man it’s hard….when you plan a future together, talk and spend time with someone everyday for two years, then all of the sudden it stops. No more calls, fts, sending memes, snaps, playing games. (Clearly u can see I’m going through it lol)

I still love her, and she will always have a spot in my heart. What we had was special. Anyways if you read all this thx for being there.

Anyways, now that I’m not in an ldr I’m not sure if I’ll continue being in this subreddit. So everyone out there, I enjoyed seeing yalls posts, I learned from others and such and goodluck in your ldrs