2007 GS350 AWD. Tires for 20x9 32 offset Vossen

I failed to get an answer at another site so I'm getting desperate.

I'm sorry for what has to be the billionth thread on this but all Google hands me is stagger sets results. I have looked at the AWD results over the years but Google will no longer supply those results. I have been working on this for years. Depression/anxiety is a pain.

My car is coming back from Discount Tire again after the 235/35R20s apparently rub real bad. I'm working from home so my wife has the car there. They already tried 255\35\ 20s that I questioned as IIRC the internet says those rub. Apparently not as bad as the 235\35s do?
Right now the car is factory so it looks like it is standing on its tail. I got the BC Racing coil overs in right before it snowed, then things came up so they are still in their box and not on the car. So I have to get those on the car to fix that look and because the struts are leaking. Maybe swap out the struts before having them try tires on it again? I would think a mud tire would fit in there with all that space.

I do not trust Discount Tire because they have told me things like:
After snapping off a lug. "You do not need all 5 lugs, 4 is fine. In fact 2 would be just fine, if they were on opposite sides."
After mentioning that old experience to the current manager "Yeah that guy was right 4 is just fine, it will just warp your rotor after a while. So you don't have to worry about us fixing the stud we ripped out"
"Sorry about breaking all the stuff in your hatch, we can't fix that but it is no big deal."
With an obviously impact wrench cross thread stripped lug "Oh that is normal, they rust that way up on the inside of the lug where the elements can't get at the threads"
And most recently "The rubbing is not a problem. Once it wears through the wheel well well liner it will be great."

So I hope to get real help here. Vossen 20x9 all around. 32mm offset IIRC. AWD so no interest in stagger. Tires are Pilot Sport 4S. I'd like them to not rub. Most of all I want the winter wheels off the car.
Discount Tire says 235\30 20 will not support the car's weight (1000lbs to low), so they can't put it on. I think they said the same thing about 245\35 20 (~500lbs to low?). They also say the Gorilla "System" security lugs I bought for the wheels will not fit. So I am at the end of my rope on this one. With a week or few of car failures and bills. New stainless exhaust is in the living room for example. New rotors and pads all around went on last week. Murphy's law says after this the engine will pop.

People don't all remove their wheel well liners to run 20s do they? I have never seen that mentioned. I'd think if everyone pulled their wheel well liners someone would have mentioned that.

As some are wondering why I'm still going to Discount Tire? Because Tires Plus was so much worse. I phoned one small shop and they said they couldn't get in Pilot Sport 4S and that was the last of my energy.

Thanks for any help you can provide. My wheels are at Discount Tires right now. Probably getting eaten or set on fire.