First time poster here. Long time lurker. I'd love to vent and get some support because I'm so fucking hurt, offended, and upset.

My husband and I had a very small argument that ended up fine in the end (it was about some household chores). It was really just a run of the mill argument that most couples have. The NMIL caught wind of it somehow through the grapevine and called my husband up ranting about me like a lunatic (she often uses situations like this to slander me)--telling him how terrible I was, how I was wrong for him, and the kicker? She said the reason why I was a "mentally ill" lunatic was that my dead sister, who was murdered, probably provoked the criminal somehow and got herself killed.

Yup, I heard all this on speakerphone.

She even had the nerve to message me after saying that I should "calm down" from the argument.

I told her that she had absolutely no right to insult me or my sister like that. I then blocked her on every medium I could think of.

I have dealt with her racist insults towards me. Her disgusting passive-aggressive tactics towards me. And more. This was the last fucking straw.

The husband told her she needed to apologize to me and she just said that she did nothing wrong and that she only cared about his "well-being" and safety and not mine. She also said it was my fault for listening in to a private conversation.

I am livid.

She's a narcissist to an absolute T. This is a woman who has literally lost all her friends and family members due to her extreme selfishness and vileness. If you couldn't guess, my husband is the "Golden Child" of this family and she thinks he'll be her retirement vehicle.

Unfortunately, my husband cannot completely write her off as he has to depend on her for at least one year for help paying for a student flat that he desperately needs. But he said that he would do everything he could to keep us apart as long as possible. While I understand there is no better solution than this, I cannot help but still feel so fucking angry over what was said about me and the absolute disrespect given to my sister--who was a victim of a completely senseless crime that she had NO bearing on.

I understand that she is a sad, pathetic person who is probably going to rot in Hell (if there is one) for the shit shes done to countless people. Usually, I shrug off what she says about me because shes a disgusting person to so many others and this is just typical for her to do. But this really shook me to my core and I cant get over it. I want to say something mean back but I didn't...and I wont. Because I'm the bigger person and I don't want it to control me.

For some extra information, I grew up in a pretty stable family environment. No divorces or cheating scandals or money issues, really. I had solid, traditional parents who raised 3 great kids. Dealing with this MIL from Hades has been giving me so much stress and anxiety and I just don't know how to cope. And I haven't met others in my situation in real life, so this seems like a great sub to cope in.

Thanks for reading.

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EDIT: I got the same amount of comments and questions about the same thing, so I'll address those here.

My husband didn't tell his mother anything. He told his sister about our small argument and she told the NMIL.

As for the student flat thing...I appreciate the concerns and trust me, I don't enjoy having to live off of her money either. The truth is that we really need this student flat (this is for both of us to live in) so that my husband can finish up grad school. Is it ideal? absolutely not. We wouldn't want this to happen but well, we don't exactly have thousands of dollars ready to go to help pay for a flat in one of the most expensive cities in Europe. I DONT LIKE THIS. But I also understand that we don't have much of a choice. Please don't tell us to just go in debt or get a loan. The NMIL said she would pay for it for one year (and there is proof of her wanting to do this and I actually do trust her to do this because husband is the golden child).

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