I don't post much, mainly because my SO has great boundaries with his mom, my jnmil, and has since we started dating, and we don't see her all that much. Just let this little story be a lesson to not let down your guard.

A few years ago we moved to the state where my SO's family lives. And by family I mean just his mom and sister. FIL is deceased, and we are NC with that side of the family because they are worse than my MIL. We moved thinking it would be good for the kid (and then kids) to be near family. His sister is a just yes and we love her to bits. My kids love Grandma, but we limit their exposure. We see her a lot if we see her once a month, to give you an idea.

We're not totally happy here. We miss our old state and the opportunities it offered both for recreation and career for me. Earlier this year SO's employer was one of the few who were announcing layoffs, right around the government shutdown. We don't take chances, SO applied to a few positions with his old employer in old state.

He mentioned this to his mom, who appeared supportive, stating how she wished that she had taken opportunities in other states rather than stay here. His sister was a little more upset at the prospect, but she leans on her brother when things get tough because their mom can't be relied on for shit, and she was having some personal stresses that I will not elaborate on. A good analogy would be if you find out your best friend is moving away kind of thing while you're agonizing over whether to quit that damn job that's causing you ridiculous stress and anxiety. It's not good timing, but support can still be offered at a distance. Anyway, we feel comfortable proceeding with potential opportunities that might become available, even after we find out SO is safe from layoffs.

SO interviewed a few weeks ago and it went well. He was pretty much told it was a given and we started figuring out what kind of salary would make the move worthwhile when you move from a low cost of living state to a high cost of living state with two kids and a veritable farm. We started getting excited.

He was given the offer yesterday. The salary is beyond what we expected (in a good way!) and makes the move even MORE feasible and financially comfortable. We are in shock but absolutely thrilled that we are going back. We had both resigned ourselves to living in this state for a long while.

He told his mom this morning. Remember the supportive impression she'd given?

Hahahahahaha. haha. ha.

"I just feel like I'm going to lose both my kids because of this."

Thanks MIL. Thanks for implying that my husband taking a new job is going to cause his SIL to commit suicide. That's a nice rug you're trying to pull out from under our feet once we tell you we're committing to a change. Too bad you don't get a say in this decision.

Husband's comments? "She's like a wrecker. She's trying to guilt me into staying but really it just makes me want to accelerate away."

My view? Thanks for confirming that distance is better for my kids so I can better protect them from you, MIL. Thanks for showing your stripes again, we had a nice run of good behavior. And if you ever try that shit on my kids, there will be hell and there will be words. She has no control over us so she tries what's left. Catholic Mom Guilt.

It's ineffective.