My husband and I have arranged a couple of MMF fantasies for me where weāve met for a drink, then gone to a hotel after. Id like to increase the frequency of these āoutings,ā but arranging for hotels as often as Iād like itā¦would be a pain in the ass. For any of you who have taken a bull into your home on the first date, what kinds of ways do you screen? (I feel a little safer that my husband is always present, but I have a fear of someone stalking me after the fact.)
It sounds like we're an outlier here, but we have had literally dozens of guys come straight to our house and never once had an issue. We've found that trying to go out first to meet, then try to plan another date for play--there's just too much that can go wrong (people get busy, work, family, etc. and it just ends up never happening, or at least being much more difficult than it should). And if your plan is to go to a hotel after meeting for the first time, what happens if there's no chemistry or if they just flake? Now you might be out the cost of a hotel room!
The process we do now, which has worked VERY well, is to first of all, trust your instincts. Wherever you happen to meet the guy (on an app or here on reddit), if at any point, they're pushy, rude or if anything just seems off, move onto the next one, 'cause there's lots out there.
Make sure you get recent pictures--we always ask for body and face--and they need to be recent, too. And we also share ours.
We're also very upfront about what we're looking for, and our rules.
Assuming there's attraction, and everyone's on the same page, we invite the guy over to our place, always with the disclaimer that there should be no expectations.
Once they're here, we have a chat, have a drink, and if everything still seems good after about 30-45 minutes, we get to the fun! Of all the guys we've had, we have only ever turned away a single one (there was just no chemistry at all), and despite that, we still got to meet someone new and had a nice chat with them.
We've never had anyone show up and be pushy or in anyway weird, and we've used this same strategy while traveling (having a guy come straight to our hotel) without any issue.
So while I'm certainly not suggesting that every guy out there is wonderful and should be welcomed into your home, the vast majority do seem to just want to have a good time without offending or pushing boundaries or anything. And our strategy has made things so much easier and more enjoyable for us. Anywho, hope our $0.02 helps a little!
Being at home for the after-sex munchies is definitely a huge plus!
As others have said, visit a bar or such first to get that āfeelingā for the guy. Iāve met with guys who on paper (verifications etc) sounded great but in person it was just a straight no go for me or my husband.
Iāve considered having guys Iāve met and played with before back to my home but I still havenāt gone through with it yet.
Hope this helps
S X
Exactly right! Just way more comfortable at home. Plus, you have all your stuff there, and when the fun's over, it's easy to relax and unwind!
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Of course! Happy to help.
We're certainly no experts (if that's a thing!), but we've been "in the lifestyle" for about 6 years now, and have had countless MMFs (literally a few hundred at this point), in addition to foursomes and just about every combination of moresome you can think of, so if you have any questions that we might be able to shed some light on, please don't be shy!