Hi all - my wife has communicated with a couple of single guys now and we're seeing a trend that we're curious about.

Our process is to find a guy online via the major swinger sites. We then move to a Kik chat between me (husband) and the guy. I talk with him for a day or two to just feel out if he'd be a fit for my wife. Once we pass this, I provide my wife's Kik for him to reach out to her directly. I typically don't disclose that I'll be reading all of their Kik discussion unless they ask. Not hiding anything but looking for guys that change their tune once they think I'm not paying attention anymore. It's worked for us so far.

My wife will then usually chat with them for a few days on topics ranging from small talk, vanilla, and lifestyle. No sexting at that point other than maybe a PG-13 sexy pic or two. Pretty tame.

My wife will get to a point where she simply wants the guy to suggest getting together for a drink or something. With one guy she got frustrated after weeks of chatting and finally just asked him if he wanted to meet us in person for a drink. She's chatting with two other guys and similarly they are going days to weeks without asking for an in-person meet.

Is this some kind of single guy etiquette where they wait to let the hotwife take the lead? Or are we just dealing with a couple of guys that are less forward? Or should we take this as a lack of genuine interest on the part of the SM?