I’m 37 male and my wife 36 female have been talking about hotwifing for about a year with some ups and downs, and I have gotten to the point where my imagination doesn’t do it for me, porn doesn’t do it for me, and I’m not even really into sex that much anymore.

I have wanted to do an mfm since I was 14 years old. She’s done a couple before me so initially I had some mad FOMO around it.

Well, a couple of drunken fights happened and she weaponized my fetish against me. She has since stopped drinking and we have done some healing of our relationship but my trust is gone. I love her, sometimes she says mean things when she drinks and we have realized a lot of external factors were at play. I feel like we are on better ground and finally communicating better.

But…

I don’t know every time I imagine a scenario now I loose my erection and get weird. I miss wanting hotwifing, but I just can’t wrap my head around it anymore. They say time heals all wounds. I’m just sad because I wonder if I’ll ever trust her again to open up again and explore new things. It felt so good when it was good, but now I just feel insecure and confused because I’ve never not wanted to do this before. How can I work on building trust for her again? We have talked and talk yet I still feel like…different about it.