This is just a little inspiration to those who read post and think I wish I could tell my partner about these fantasies I’m having, and what I’m reading here… You should do it! However, consider a few things before you do. 1. What do I want to say and how should I go about saying it? “ it’s not what you say, but how you say it” 2. How does my partner receive information best and what setting? Would they be comfortable to hear something like this? 3. Reiterate, this is just a fantasy and nothing that has to control you or your sexual dynamic, but be honest about your intentions of wanting to discuss it, or explore down the road. 4. You will most likely have an offputting conversation or reaction, but stand your ground. be compassionate and empathetic towards your partners perspective and revisit the topic at another time when the shock has worn off a little bit. “it takes one step backwards to go two steps forward” and if you continue the conversations, you will eventually progress forward in someway shape or form. 5. If communications between you and your partner are difficult to have or hard to conceptualize consider going to counseling (even virtual)… If you find the right counselor, they will definitely help you communicate better. I can attest to this!

Three years ago, I planted the seat of my fantasies about ethical, non-monogamy, and it’s different forms to my wife. She was hard pressed no and at this point she has still at a NO. 😂

HOWEVER… our communications of sex and normal life have definitely become better… This is also because we started a couples counseling and our counselor has tremendously helped us communicate. We have elevated our sex life to incorporate toys, porn, and some light, role-play, and dirty talk… All of which is geared towards my fantasy. My wife, three years ago would say she’s “never going to do this” but a few months ago, she said, she’s “probably, never going to do this”. Just the word probably took three years to get to, but that has shown some small progression.

If you’ve read this far, congratulations! I hope it inspires at least one person to open up the conversation with their partner or spice things up or start to try to keep things fresh if they’ve become stale… You can definitely do this! DM’s always open if you have any questions or thoughts !