I'm a college professor in the English department, and I teach our first-year writing classes. Maybe because writing is such an intimate form of communication, but students often disclose very personal things to me. Maybe it's also my personality that allows students to feel comfortable talking about their challenges and struggles, and in the past I always valued that I could support students personally as well as academically. I'm glad they had someone to talk to and was honored to be so trusted.

But right now? Less than 2 months after my dad's sudden death when I am still struggling to get through each day? It is too much. In my welcome email at the beginning of the semester, I had disclosed that I was suffering from the loss of a parent and asked for their patience with me since I didn't really know how it would affect me. The second day of class, a student stayed afterwards to talk to me about losing her own mom. She was in a situation where she had no one to talk to, and once she started I couldn't stop her from unloading her grief onto me. It was a lot for me to take in, but I tried to be a compassionate listener and give her an opportunity to share her feelings. But then it happened again today: another student came after class to explain why they had missed the first week (her father is dying from cancer among many other family issues). Again, I tried to be a compassionate listener; inside I wanted to run away. I went to my office immediately afterwards and closed the door, but one of my colleagues went to go find me for something and thought I had said "come in" when he knocked...and I was just trying to keep it together and lost it when he came in. This is only my second week back at work but today was just an awful day.

Maybe it is just a cruel coincidence that this happened twice in two weeks, but from my experience I know that students will continue to come to me to talk about their challenges. It won't always be about dead or dying parents, but it will be something. What do I do in those situations? What can I do to protect myself? I can't go on like this.