Like I don't think I take another year of this cause I'm always mentally drained. All the time. I'm never prepared. Very tired. Extremely tired. I never have time to myself or my goals. It's always packed with assignments. And then I'm more fatigued because...idk if I'm gonna pass this class. Half of the notes the professor gives us doesn't match the quiz or test at all.

I feel so so tired. Very tired. Very drained. I can't seem to get the discipline to do anything. I lowkey want to rot. But I can't because time is always ticking. Internships is killing me. I'm very tired and idk if I can even make towards my goals cause I'm pack with so much. It's lowkey isolating. I can't paint, draw, sew, or crochet. Because I never ever have time for it. And I feel like I'm neglecting myself for an endless job that I can never satisfy because of heavy competition. I'm trying to build discipline but mental and emotional drain is so empty.

I can't seem to get to anything. And then when I get home. I go to sleep because my body is tired and drained. It's almost like depression. Where you feel like your loosing your identity and you haven't had time to connect with yourself with all the hustle and bustle. I feel like I'm wasting my youth being here. And idk what exactly to do. Like I hate going to college now. 😭 like I dread Monday and Wednesday. Cause I want to sleep in bed forever and just stay there. I don't want purpose cause I don't think I have one. I feel like a broken cog. I don't care about having purpose or giving back because I don't really have anything to give.

I miss myself and I feel like everything is crashing. I'm literally crashing out completely and I feel like I'm crazy for crashing out. Like me not being able to be a academic weapon and a total discipline beast is crazy when really I'm very tired and drained. I feel completely dead on the inside and idk what to do. 💀