I should say up front that I am married, in case that’s a deal breaker for you. Check my profile to see pics (NSFW) and please be willing to share your own pics if you message me. Warning: this post is long, but hopefully draws the right type.

I have always enjoyed erotica and good amateur porn (real people fucking because they need it so bad and love to show off), but I always thought of myself as a consumer or just enjoying it as an online fantasy with a chat/sexting friend. Until recently...

I grew up in the days when AOL was the internet and chatting with girls was a really fun and new way to have dirty fun. But for some reason, that dirty part of me was never something that I felt comfortable revealing to someone in real life, and I never really explored it's depths - which resulted in me getting married to a woman with a mismatched libido. She's a wonderful woman and life partner in so many ways, but despite my earnest attempts over many years, she remains uninterested in the truly hedonistic, raw, and animalistic type of sex that I now know I need.

My descent was fueled by a steady progression of women that pushed me further and further, seducing me into breaking barriers that I had put up for myself. At first, I was only into text chat. I was comfortable with that and it was just thrilling to explore dirty thoughts with women and to know that we were cumming together. The risk of anything else was just too high. Then I met Jynn, a bi woman with a dirty mind who introduced me to sending voice notes and r/gwa. She loved my voice and I her's. Hearing her cum while saying the dirtiest things made it so much more of a 'real'experience, and I was hooked. Then there came Amber, a cute college aged girl who loved to tease with pics and vids of herself. The sessions were never extended, but the teasing and increased intensity that the visuals brought to the dynamic drove me wild with lust. I was worried that I'd get busted having snapchat on my phone and talking to this much younger woman, but I couldn't stop myself. That led me to my first really intense two-way sexting encounter with Jenny. She was this 30 something married woman with an amazing body and a love for edging, cock, and cum. She got me to start sending videos of myself. I was hesitant at first, truly not seeing myself as a sexual object in the same way that I viewed her and other women. But her reactions, the way she asked for more, the dirty things she would say to me as I stroked my cock for her and she rubbed her juicing pussy...ungh. It was bad, in the best possible ways. Jenny really kicked me into high gear - searching for more of that next level kind of play - and I found it. I got progressively dirtier and in need of more, and there were women on reddit to fill that need. I had graduated to voice chats, video chats, and basically anything you could imagine doing online.

Then I met Hana about a year ago. We hit it off immediately and had a really natural vibe together. I had actually never experienced that level of intense mutual attraction in such a purely sexual way. She was so like minded that it was kind of insane and we found ourselves talking to one another almost constantly over the next few weeks. She was masterful at teasing me, sending me pics and vids on snapchat and enjoying how she made a married family man lust over her body. And jesus christ, this girl was like the perfect picture of what I find most attractive. Petite, skinny, with tiny tits, but an amazing hourglass shape to her. I don't even know how to begin to describe the effect seeing her body had on me - it was unbelieveable. [As a quick aside, I will note that while I have my physical preferences - like anyone else - I know that I often find women outside that archetype to be extremely attractive. So, please don't assume I won't find you attractive if you don't fit it] And over the weeks things got more and more intense. We progressed from sharing pics, to videos, to voice notes, and finally phone and video calls. On top of being unbelievably hot to me, her high LF was intoxicating and her pussy would literally drip and cream with juices....all I could say sometimes was "ungh". We talked about the dirtiest fucking things, in the most raw and intense ways, and all of our likes lined up in an oh-so-perfect way. I thought girls this hot and dirty were a myth, but Hana proved to me that they do exist. I have a whole story (nearly complete) about Hana that is posted in my profile, but the short version is that she broke my last remaining wall...we met up irl and it was fantastic.

So, here I am now, realizing that I need to finally satisfy these urges that have been lurking inside my psyche for all these years. That I need to find more women who have the same insatiable appetite for really dirty, hot, degrading, wet, and fully-satisfying sex. I'm still a very cautious person, so I'm not just going to fuck anyone. I want a little get-to-know-you chat first, because I need to have a good connection with the person. I'm not talking about romantic feelings - I'm talking about vibing, having a shared respect and understanding, and feeling a level of comfort where we can each be our truly unfiltered self. It may take me be a bit of a slow burn with me, because I also need to feel like I can actually trust you, but I think it will be worth it with the right person.