I just wanted to say that I did nc with my ex for a month. I focused on myself, I went to the gym a lot, exercised, ate really healthy, meditated, went to therapy to talk about I was feeling during the break up. And after a couple of weeks I was feeling really good and calmed down. I realized that I wanted to texted her to see how she was doing, after a week we saw each other and talked a lot about the relationship and what went wrong. We both saw the things we did wrong. We got back together and we’re really happy today. My point is, it’s not always white and black, sometimes a space it’s necessary in a relationship. If it’s not working right now it doesn’t mean it will never work out. You need space, and to think. You probably shared a lot of spaces and things with your ex, you shouldn’t hate them (of course, there are some exceptions like abuse). But learn to forgive, even if you don’t want them back, try to be in good therms with them, it will be the best for you.