I am realizing just how much the people who raised me made me believe I am mean, cruel and could not be trusted. I grew up undiagnosed autistic and I am sure that did not help.

My maternal figure rarely called me mean, but she insinuated I was, that there was something terribly wrong with me and that I am not trust worthy.

I read Shadow Daughter and resonated with the author feeling like she was a mean cold daughter because she did not “just accept” her mother while others around her, accepted her abuse.

I am late diagnosed autistic. And the idea of being mean, arrogant and weird are all pretty sensitive topics. As an autistic and having developmental trauma, I have such a limited social and people bandwidth although I desperately crave connection with other matching autists as I tend to do much better with others with a similar neurotype. I am pretty isolated and am pretty much giving up with relationships with neurotypical women, I’ve had really bad experiences.

Anyone else feel mismatched with parents either because of neurotype and or being made to feel like a mean person?