i was laying down on my bed and couldn't decide to nap, game or edge for a bit, so i decided to just give in and edge. i started a bit slow with a porn vid that i wanted to finish up before diving into a few more vids i had found. i was massaging my shaft underneath my joggers and could already feel myself leaking a little bit at my touch. i decided to try and disassociate myself and to focus on the edge a little bit more while pulling my cock and balls out over my joggers so i could feel a bit of leverage from my crotch and scrotum and it felt sooooo so nice, like not enough pressure for pain (not into pain myself aside from like, the pain of denial ofc lol) but just enough for pleasure. not only that but i could feel my mind being more at peace and ease, no thoughts, no worries, just me, the video and the edging i was doing.

i finished one video and continued into watching a second one and i could just feel how close i was getting, but even with me being close i wanted to ride and see what would happen if i continued edging/stroking while feeling it to i guess, ride the edge better? i'm working more on the edge aspect than i am with actual orgasm (as i'm more experienced on ruining lol) but fuckkk was i leaky, i could feel myself wanting to cum and could feel my cock twitching, i had to close my eyes while listening to the video every now and then so i wouldn't ruin my edge..

of course, it didn't happen that way lmao i definitely came a little but it wasn't with as much height (laying down and not standing up for distance) like it was just leaking with every throbby pump i felt.. god it felt awesome haha 😅 i had to stop because i knew that if i kept going i would definitely make a mess and i wasn't wanting to do that this time around lol.

tbh, i woke up a bit depressed and lonely and didn't think i would be in the mood for much, but if i'm being honest? this community is sooooo amazing, not only with the experiences to read but also to share and it's so so satisfying knowing that i can help others with their goals of denial, edging and riding the edge, instructions/helping to orgasm, sharing material like it's honestly a confidence booster and in a way it helps lift my spirit a bit 🤷 kept having thoughts throughout the day of what it would be like to work in the industry mainstream or to have a goonette gf who i can have fun and work with (only fantasizing lmao i've had terrible experiences with OF girls where feelings were mutual between me and them and i honestly doubt i'd find myself in a relationship with one worth their salt anytime soon 😅) but even while gaming i've been having thoughts of cockwarming while enjoying ourselves both game wise and IRL one day, maybe, but hey! today was still better than i had expected it to be :)